Since the Sichuan earthquake, I have always been fearful, worried that I might be struck by disaster someday. I get even more afraid of the sudden arrival of doom, particularly when I see disasters escalating, and earthquakes becoming more frequent. Therefore, I spend the day pondering what precautions I should take to protect myself should an earthquake hit.One day, at lunch, the sister of the host family turned on the TV as usual, and the newscaster was just talking about earthquake prevention knowledge: In the event of an earthquake, you should run outdoors to an open space quickly to avoid being injured by falling building. If you cannot make it in time, you should hide under a bed, table or in a corner…. After hearing this, I felt as though I found a life-saving solution, and quickly remembered these precautionary measures by heart, so I could save my own life in case an earthquake hit.
I went back to my room after lunch, and carefully looked around the interior and exterior of the house, and I was greatly disappointed with what I saw: There was a ton of junk under the bed, and no extra space to hide. Looking outside the house, within hundreds of meters were all buildings with 5 or 6 stories high, and with extremely close distance between each building that if I ran out I would get crushed to death. It looked like this was going to be too dangerous to perform my duty here. I would have to wait for the district leader to come and have her get me a rural host family. This way if an earthquake happened, it would be easier to run to an open space. But then, I turned to a different thought: My job in revising the articles involved mainly staying at home, and even if I lived in the countryside, it was still going to endanger my life. I might as well tell the district leader to transfer me to the second line gospel spreading team. That way I would be out every day, and it would be safer than staying home. The only thing was I didn’t know when the district leader was coming. I still needed to prepare a hiding place for the time being…. And so, I lived in fear every day, and with no ability to focus on revising my articles.
Then one day, I saw God’s words saying, “When disaster comes, famine and plague will befall all those who oppose Me and they will weep. Those who have committed all kinds of evil during their many years as My follower shall not be guiltless; they too will live in a constant state of panic and fear amidst the disaster that has scarcely been seen through the ages. And all My followers who have been loyal to no other shall rejoice and applaud My might. They will experience ineffable contentment and live in a joy that I have never before bestowed upon mankind. … In any case, I hope that you do sufficient good deeds in preparation for your own destination. Then will I be satisfied; otherwise, none of you shall escape the disaster. The disaster is brought down by Me and of course orchestrated by Me. If you cannot work for good in My presence, then you will not escape suffering the disaster” (“You Ought to Do Enough Good Deeds to Prepare for Your Destination” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words woke me up. As it turned out, God causes disasters to happen, and they are from Him. God wants to use disasters to ruin this evil, corrupt human race. This is what God wants to do in the last days. The unbelievers do not know this, and think these are natural disasters, and so they use human ways, human efforts to save themselves when faced with disasters. They think they can avoid the invasion of disasters by doing this. And I, who was ignorant, believed God but did not know God’s work at all. I was thinking all I needed to do was to follow the precautionary measures of the unbelievers to save myself, and I would escape suffering from disasters and survive. It was truly absurd that I had the same viewpoint as the unbelievers! Shouldn’t I have known that if people do not perform their duties faithfully and have no good deeds, they cannot be seen in God’s eyes as good? Regardless of how powerful humans can be, and how clever the precautionary measures are, or how perfect their self-help programs are, they are unable to escape the various disasters sent by God. From my various responses to disasters, it was evident that I did not have any real faith in God. I had no real understanding of God’s work in the last days and His almightiness and sovereignty. I had no idea who God aims to destroy in disasters, or who God targets to save, nor did I recognize that in disasters, only those who are faithful to God and have prepared good deeds are those who are spared in calamity. Therefore, when disaster was about to strike, instead of examining myself to see if I had any good deeds, and if I was faithful to God and a person seeking the truth and saved by God, I only spent time contemplating ways to save myself. Without the truth, one is truly pathetic!
During Noah’s time, when God wanted to destroy the earth with the flood, because Noah feared God and stayed away from evil, and built the ark in accordance with God’s will, he spent everything on God’s request, showed his utmost loyalty and was seen by God as good. Therefore, when disaster arrived, his whole family of eight were spared and survived. At this point, I recalled what was discussed in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry, “If you don’t have any good deeds, when disaster strikes, your heart will panic all day long. Without good deeds, a man’s heart feels no comfort, and he has no confidence or peace in his heart. Because he does not have any good deeds, there is no real peace and joy in his heart. Evil-doers have a guilty conscience, and are evil at heart. The more evil deeds they do, the guiltier they feel and the more fearful they get. When the great disaster comes, you need to do more good and prepare more good deeds so your heart can be comforted and at peace. Only then will you feel peace and comfort in your heart when disaster strikes” (“The Important Meaning Behind Preparing Good Deeds” in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entry (II)). When I think about how I have been feeling uneasy and nervous all day, fearing my own death in disaster, I realize it’s because I have not done my duty faithfully and not prepared any good deeds. In doing my duty, I have never truly borne the burden for the tasks entrusted by the church. I have never done my duty based on being faithful to God, but I always deceived and dealt with God out of indulgence for the flesh. I didn’t do much with the articles sent to me, but sloppily revised them and only sought to complete my task. When I saw how disorganized the articles written by the brothers and sisters were, I didn’t guide them seriously and help them, but I just wrote a few comments, nor did I care whether they understood them, whether it could give them some help, but returned the articles to them hurriedly, resulting in less and less articles being sent to me, and the editorial work almost being paralyzed. Even so, I did not reflect on myself, nor tried to find the source of the problem to rectify, but I blamed the leader that this happened because of her not attaching any importance to the editorial work…. How can I satisfy God in such a way? How can I be comforted in my heart? How can I be seen in the eyes of God as good? If I continue on this path and do not pursue the truth properly, not being faithful to what I have been entrusted by the church, and not preparing adequate good deeds, I will not be able to escape the punishment of God on the wicked even if I follow Satan’s set of precautions when disaster strikes. Thank God for His guidance in opening my mind to make me understand that only by doing my duty and doing enough good deeds can I escape the suffering from disasters to survive, and there is no other way around it. In the future, I wish to properly pursue the truth, and be the most faithful I can be in doing my duty, to prepare enough good deeds to satisfy God.
from Judgment Before the Seat of Christ
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